“I…struggle with looking at pornography,” or something to that effect, because I don’t remember exactly what I said, but I remember how I felt. The thing I thought I would never-tell-anyone-ever I had just confessed to a few girls. This was IT: NOW I could have accountability, NOW I could heal. But a week later I found myself engaging once again with the very thing I wanted to escape from…
Read MoreThey say it’s a male struggle — from the pulpits, on the pages, in the accountability software —forcing women who struggle with pornography to conclude that we’re anomalies, cloaking us in silent shame. The first time I heard that women can *also* struggle with pornography I was a freshman in college. I struggled for six years, the bulk of my adolescence, before learning I wasn’t the only one…
Read MoreI used to do a balloon exercise after sinning: I would imagine my sin in all of its weight, shame, and vile, releasing from me like a balloon floating away. I felt ok until the next time (I was struggling with addiction, after all), and then I inevitably felt like I was once again connected to a balloon, but instead of helium – lead, and instead of a curly-q ribbon – chains.
Read MoreIt was green, and not that comfortable.
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