“I…struggle with looking at pornography,” or something to that effect, because I don’t remember exactly what I said, but I remember how I felt. The thing I thought I would never-tell-anyone-ever I had just confessed to a few girls. This was IT: NOW I could have accountability, NOW I could heal. But a week later I found myself engaging once again with the very thing I wanted to escape from…
Read MoreThey say it’s a male struggle — from the pulpits, on the pages, in the accountability software —forcing women who struggle with pornography to conclude that we’re anomalies, cloaking us in silent shame. The first time I heard that women can *also* struggle with pornography I was a freshman in college. I struggled for six years, the bulk of my adolescence, before learning I wasn’t the only one…
Read MoreI used to do a balloon exercise after sinning: I would imagine my sin in all of its weight, shame, and vile, releasing from me like a balloon floating away. I felt ok until the next time (I was struggling with addiction, after all), and then I inevitably felt like I was once again connected to a balloon, but instead of helium – lead, and instead of a curly-q ribbon – chains.
Read MoreThere is nothing too deep, too dark, too secretive that you don’t deserve to experience healing and freedom…
Read MoreI'm baking tonight because I hate addiction. Drugs, alcohol, sex, food, technology, it doesn't matter, my hate doesn't discriminate. I'm baking tonight because of the Great Lie we all believe or are crawling away from- You are alone. God doesn't love you. He doesn't care. I'm baking tonight because my frustration needs an outlet. Maybe somewhere between cold cubes of butter, sugar sticking to my measuring cups, & flour on my fingertips I'll transition from questioning His goodness to stretching my flour-dusted arms out before Him.
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