A God of Catharsis or Screaming at God

I came home hoarse recently. Long drives and an old song by Death Cab for Cutie do me in. It's a unique combination that for years has queued up healing. But before the healing there's usually screaming...at God.

Do you feel comfortable screaming at God? If not screaming, insert whatever emotional expression that makes you a little uneasy ______. For me it's expressions of intense pain- screaming, thrashing, wailing. 

I used to think Jesus couldn't handle how I felt. If I was hurt, it was better that I cry to myself, feeling hidden from Him - alone, afraid, unacceptable. Remain pious. 
But then life became too painful. I was tired of white-knuckling how I thought I needed to act before Him, so out of default I started unloading on Him. And something has happened over the past nine years- the more I've let out my raw emotions, the more I've discovered how present He is. The lies have started diminishing- I'm not alone; I don't need to be afraid of what will come out, because He's already made me acceptable; and not screaming doesn't equal piety...

He's a God of catharsis. He's a God of healing.
He's a God of healing the pain that's causing those emotions to well-up in your chest and throat. He's a God of healing whatever caused you to snap at the Starbucks barista. And He's a God of healing places in your soul that tell you emotions are shameful and unsafe. 

Screaming at God doesn't undermine His sovereignty or shun His humanity. It doesn't mean you're bucking against His will or rejecting His goodness. It's not a sin.
It's accepting your reality and the pain of this life - knowing that you can let it all out because He did.

Hebrews 5:7-
"In the days of His flesh, He offered up both prayers and supplications with loud crying and tears to the One able to save Him from death, and He was heard because of His piety."

Jesus, the One who was lonely, abused, judged, mocked, slandered, poor, exhausted, dying- 
wept, begged for pain to stop, sweat blood in His agony, screamed at the Father as He died. 

You're not going to hurt His feelings by letting yours out; His heart already hurts alongside yours. And your emotions towards Him don't define His love towards you. He does, and He is safe. Let it out. 🌼